I am ill.
This is a human condition identified in the first turning of the Dharma Wheel : if I am such this is thus. My illness is part of Dukkha and at 80 years of age, these changes have compounded since August, 2025. Our Sangha has been re-routing to work around my conditions and absences from my role as guiding priest and mentor. Yet, and this is important, that is the role of Sangha in Buddhism. Just as we adjust to our individual illness, we adjust to friends being ill and therefore to the uneasiness in our Sangha.
Before this happened, we had scheduled a Retreat and Sesshin October 29 – November 2, 2025, in celebration of our 15th Anniversary. As Sangha members expressed their concern about this being possible given my condition and several variables that could lessen the essence of Sesshin, we decided to cancel the event.
Sesshin is an intensive period. For whatever number of days we live Shikantaza. We drop out of hyperdrive and dwell in a rhythmical experience of activities, stillness and quiet. It is a kind of doubling-down on letting go, that allows a dimensional shift. We are experiencing: living in the moment, non-attachment, by turning the Dharma Wheel- being all-in. Rather than having a sesshin we choose compassion as our right effort, creating options to reduce the suffering we were experiencing. We are in an intensive period illness allowing practice to play its part.
I have had to step back from my roles sooner and more dramatically than I had hoped. While you have had to respond with compassion for me and for each other, and yourself in new ways. This is good! Appreciation is the feeling of gratefulness we have from a sense of loving-kindness that surrounds how we experience one another. It is part of the antidote for greed, hate and delusion offering us liberation.
We are all going through “Sangha Change.” This process will work itself out as you wish it. I have full confidence in Mokuo as Practice Leader and Inmo who is completing his Disciple training, that they will step-up. Each person makes dozens of decisions everyday and for us a few more of these will be about Sangha and what we make it. This is an opportunity for all of us to be with the great question of life and death.
I will continue to inform you about my health, Mokuo and Inmo about changes, options, and roles each of you may wish to play in the near term.
This Tuesday night, October 28, 2025, I’ll review this S-S-S interplay and address any questions you wish.
https://www.treeleaf.org/2025/07/illness-koji/
108 Bows
Sensei